How Having a Hysterectomy Changed My Life Forever.
If you have thought about having, or have had a hysterectomy, many questions run through your mind. Can your life (as a woman) ever be “normal” again?
Why did I have a hysterectomy in the first place?
Having a hysterectomy is one of the most life changing major surgeries that a woman can have. Some people may not look at it as “major” surgery, but indeed it is; no matter what type of hysterectomy you have had. Let’s face it. You are getting a major organ removed from your body. It’s not an organ. It is your reproductive organs. I don’t think I have to school anyone on sex education about the reproductive system, because I think you get the point.
It was not easy for me to get this surgery in the beginning. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy (TAH) on July 18, 2019, and it was the best decision that I had made. The incision was horizontal, right under my belly. I finally made a decision to have one after 30–45 days of extreme heavy bleeding, anemia, and bloating all from uterine fibroids. I had several of them in my uterus. One fibroid was 6.5x6.5cm, which to me is the same as 7cm. At the time of me writing this, I was (and still am) 41 years old when I had my surgery. I kept my ovaries and fallopian tubes, and had only my uterus and cervix removed.
I can’t begin to tell you of all the embarrassing moments that the heavy bleeding had caused me. I was ordained as a deaconess in a church I use to attend a few years back. Each 1st Sunday of the month, the deconnesses had to wear white attire. It was my turn to serve communion, and let’s just say I was bleeding heavy that day and had to sit there in my chair the whole entire service, and through the leadership meeting after church. It was horrible. I had menstrual cramps of course, but the anemia was the worst part of it all.
In September of 2016, I had a uterine endometrial ablation with D&C. A D&C (dilatation and curettage) is a procedure where the opening of the uterus (called the cervix) is widened and the lining of the uterus is scraped away. An endometrial ablation is a procedure to remove the lining of the uterus to reduce bleeding. The ablation was my last resort before I decided to have surgery. After the surgery, my GYN put me on birth control pills to slow the bleeding. The surgery, nor the pills helped. My uterus was huge; almost twice the size of a normal uterus.
“Don’t get a hysterectomy because God may send you a husband that may want more children.”
In April 2019, I had to be rushed to the hospital for a blood transfusion. My hemoglobin dropped to a 6.9. I was constantly weak, dizzy, and had severe heart flutters and palpitations because my iron and blood count was so low. No matter how much iron or B-12 I had taken, it was no match for the constant heavy bleeding (with huge clots). I would always go to the altar at church expecting a “supernatural” healing from God to make the fibroids disappear, but that was not his plan. I needed surgery no matter what anyone else thought. I did pray and talk to God about it. I stopped taking advice from my sisters in Christ, who told me to “wait on God” or “don’t get one because your future husband may want more children.”
Making my final decision and post op surgery
I joined a few social media groups and asked so many questions about what was having a hysterectomy like and what to expect. Thank God that my mother is a nurse, and she had a hysterectomy several years back, and I remember her experience. She almost went into cardiac arrest because she bled so bad and was rushed to the hospital for an emergency hysterectomy. Reflecting back on times like that made my decision a lot easier. I do have a one child, and I considered have another child or two if I ever got married again, but I knew deep down that I did not want more children at my age.
July 18, 2019 was the day I had my surgery. I was very nervous, but could not wait to get the procedure done because the bleeding was so bad. I stayed overnight. I got great support from my family. I walked up and down the halls of the hospital a little bit and got back into bed. I was in pain, but due to the pain meds, it tapered it off a bit. When my doctor came in to show me the pictures of my uterus and fibroids after surgery, I was shocked. She informed me that since my uterus was so large, it had begun to fuse to my intestines. The fibroids had gotten so large that they became necrotic and outgrew their blood supply.
By the time I got home, that’s when the real pain in my lower abdomen it. I wasn’t stitched or glued in my abdomen area, but had staples instead. To me, that was the most painful. Percocet and ibuprofen only helped somewhat, but I rested and followed the doctors orders. I realized that time, and only time was going to help the pain subside. I didn't work, do my own laundry (family helped with that), drive, or go anywhere for a few weeks. I didn’t want any complications. I did go into early menopause (or have menopausal symptoms). I have hot flashes sometimes, and the next minute I will be cold. Although I kept my ovaries, it does happen to a lot of women that have hysterectomies to experience menopausal symptoms.
I am now 7 weeks (at the time of this blog) post op, and am doing great. For the first couple of weeks after my hysterectomy, I fell into a depression. It wasn’t a depression knowing that I would never have any more biological children again, but more of personal and hormonal issues. My doctor prescribed me a mild antidepressant and it has worked wonders. I had often thought about what would sex be like (once I am married) with my husband after a hysterectomy? Would it hurt? Would there be no vaginal lubrication? So many questions ran through my mind, and they still do from time to time.
Keep in mind that every woman is different and may no go through the same phases as another woman post op from a hysterectomy. I had some bleeding right after surgery, and then it subsided. When my internal stitches (from where my cervix use to be) there was a light bleeding after the stitches dissolved, but that’s about it. Having my staples removed from my abdominal incision wasn’t too bad either. I feel so much better knowing that I won’t have to worry about my monthly menstrual massacre. I would often think to myself “How on Earth can women survive so long after bleeding heavily like this?” I am so happy that it is over.
Is a hysterectomy right for you?
Do you think a hysterectomy is right for you? Many women have hysterectomies for various health reasons. I didn’t have much of a choice, but to have one. The heavy bleeding and shifting of my organs due the fibroids was seriously affecting my health. Some women get them due to severe endometriosis, uterine, ovarian, or cervical cancers, large fibroids, etc. I would always suggest speaking with your OB-GYN for consultation, especially if you are still in child bearing age and would like to have (more) children. I have seen some women as young as 21 needing a hysterectomy from severe endometriosis and other female issues. You can always get a second opinion if you aren’t happy with the care or advice your current doctor is giving you.
Remember that this is your health and your body, however, if you are married, and your spouse would like you to have children, it is a matter that the both of you have to discuss, together. I can only imagine how hard it would be to know that having a hysterectomy could be your last option to what you are facing, knowing that you would like to have children. Adoption is always an option, but I realize that most people want their own biological children and that decision is never easy for some women. If your health is getting worse, and you know for a fact that you don’t mind not having children of your own (if you aren’t able to save your ovaries), then a hysterectomy may be for you.
Just know that life does not stop after a hysterectomy; in fact, it improves dramatically for most women. Mine has. I no longer have to sit at home and miss tons of work or special events due to my heavy unpredictable bleeding. I can save money and not have to purchase 2 or 3 large packs of menstrual pads each month. My hemoglobin can finally get back to where it should be and I won’t have to struggle with anemia all the time. I can go on an on about the joys of no longer having periods. It does get better. Take it one day at a time and make sure you are around positive people. Being around negative people and them speaking in your ear what how bad a hysterectomy can be pollute your way of thinking and can make you become paranoid.
Do as much research as you can about each procedure and talk with your doctor about your options and take it from there. That’s all you can do. You can do this. You will find that your life will be so much better and perhaps your spouse may be able to enjoy you more now without the excessive bleeding each month or painful sex you experience from female issues. The journey all starts with you and having a hysterectomy is not as bad as what people make it out to be.
