Derrick Jaxn is Exposed for Cheating on His Wife. Why I’m Not Surprised.
This story is written with the best intentions. I am going to give my personal perspective as well as Biblical references to this entire brouhaha. For those of you who do not know who Derrick Jaxn is, he is an African American self-proclaimed relationship and self-love coach/guru. He came fresh on the scene several years ago on YouTube with his relationship advice for women and how they can have “healthy” relationships, and dodge narcissistic players…like him. I have a little sympathy for him. The sympathy that I have is not only for his folly, but the cost of his wife and children’s expense.
I will admit that I have been watching his content on Youtube on and off for the past 3 years, and some of his videos about men had helped me dodge some potential toxic relationships. The only thing that perturbed me was his egotistical persona. The is nothing wrong with having self-confidence, but in my eyes, he seemed almost as if he was untouchable. I have watched countless videos on him explicitly putting videos out there on YouTube on how women need to “take up their crown”, and watch out for “players”, and how real men don’t cheat, especially black ones (sigh).
The more I watched his videos, the more I began to realize was that Derrick, well, loves Derrick. He had hidden his marriage to his wife of 4 years (they had been together 12) from the world, giving the impression that he was a single man. He’s written books, created a card game, and teaches relationship seminars all over the world. His hiding his wife from the public (as he states) was to “protect her” when indeed, he was intentionally hiding her from the world. Did I forget to mention that the couple has 2 beautiful children?
I won’t go into the deep details of his alleged affair or his background as you can do the research in your own free time. I did unsubscribe from his YouTube channel about a year and a half ago. Once in a blue moon, I would visit his channel to see what content he put on there, but nothing really intrigued me because it was hard to get past his ego. Honestly, deep down, I knew there was something sinister about him. A few years ago, the Lord led me to a revelation about him, and I published a Youtube video about him (without saying his name).
Derrick is now confessing that he is a born-again. Christian, and repeatedly uses God in his faults. Let’s take a look at scripture! “2 For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. 3 Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”
— Luke 12:2–3. I think that scripture he may have forgotten about.
As a Believer myself, I am not in the position to judge his relationship with God in any way shape, or form. He very may have changed, but my heart is telling something else. By looking at his recent confessions (with his wife sitting beside him) on YouTube, throwing the blame on everyone else but him, and constantly trying to sell his book in the midst of his “confessions”, I’d say that his public repentance is hard to believe. By the same token, I do not rejoice in his downfall. There is nothing glamorous about that. Look at the many people in the public eye who we thought were “good and honest” people, yet turned out to be promiscuous.
What I have learned about men like this is that you can never put anyone on a pedestal! “Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen. Checking ourselves periodically to make sure we are not putting anything or anyone on a pedestal is a good thing to do” — 1 John 5:21 NKJV
His narcissistic behavior is one of the reasons why I had to unsubscribe from his channel. Do I believe that God is a redeemer and forgives? Absolutely! Lord knows I have done some dirt in my past before I gave my life to the Lord. Derrick’s wife Da’Naia clearly wants to stand by her man and try to work things out, and that is their prerogative. I don’t even want to touch that issue. What I have learned from his exposure and how he handled things is simply put. God will find you out. Even if there is a public confession of repentance (or lack thereof), there will still be consequences for your actions.
My prayer is that whatever happens between him and his wife, God restores the situation. When I say restore, I do not necessarily mean the marriage per se, but them as individuals. Restoration does take time, and Derrick has a lot of damage control to do. Is his brand damaged permanently? Possibly. However, I feel that he must truly submit his mind, will, emotions, motive, and heart totally to God, and apologize to the public…without narcissism. I think Derrick must have forgotten what any message you preach, always, always, is intended to the messenger FIRST, before the masses!
